Letâs be honest... even in the most open relationships, the idea of bringing a toy into the bedroom can make people blush. Itâs totally normal to feel a little nervous! But introducing toys doesnât have to be awkward or intimidating. In fact, it can strengthen your connection and more often than not, boost communication.
Here are five gentle, confidence-building ways to start the conversation and explore together.
1. Start with the why, not the what
Before you even mention a specific toy, talk about what youâd both like more of ... more connection, curiosity, pleasure, fun. When the focus is on shared experiences rather than âfixingâ something, it sets a positive, open tone.
Try saying: âI read that toys can make things more playful. What do you think about trying something new together?â
This opens the door for honesty and curiosity without pressure.
2. Begin with something small and couple-friendly
You donât have to jump straight into bold or complex toys. Start with something simple and non-intimidating. Think a mini vibrator, massage candle, or coupleâs ring. These are great because they add to your connection rather than replacing it.
You could even frame it as an experiment: âLetâs see what feels good for usâ
đ Explore our Beginner Collection for easy-to-love options.
3. Make it part of self-care, not a âperformanceâ
Toys arenât just for the bedroom, they are tools for pleasure, confidence, and connection. Try introducing one during a cosy evening in, with candles, music, or massage oils. When you take the pressure off, you create space for laughter, discovery, and genuine closeness.
4. Learn together
Turn it into a shared adventure. Watch educational videos, read articles, or explore brands that focus on sexual wellbeing (youâre in the right place đ). Understanding how toys work, what theyâre made from, and how to clean and use them safely makes it feel more approachable... even exciting.
Top tip: Focus on communication and aftercare. Asking âWhat did you like most?â can be the most intimate part.
5. Keep it light, fun, and ongoing
Trying something new doesnât have to be a big âmoment.â Maybe itâs a toy one week, a new position the next, or a shared fantasy later. The goal isnât to tick boxes, itâs to grow together whilst staying curious and keeping your spark alive.
Remember: pleasure is a journey, not a destination.
đ Final Thoughts
Introducing toys into a relationship is about enhancing intimacy, not replacing it. When approached with openness, humour, and care, it can bring you closer than ever. Whether youâre just starting to explore or already curious, Kiss the Spot is here to help you do it with confidence and joy.
đď¸ Explore our curated collection of couple-friendly toys here and donât forget to subscribe to our newsletter for real-talk guides, tips, and offers.